Smoothie My Badonkadonk!

We all have those days.

You know, the I'm-about-to-rip-your-face-off-if-I-don't-get-some-sugar-in-my-bloodstream-like-yesterday kind of day.

Been there?

Yeah, I thought so.

I mean, it's crazy. You're "good" all week, eating healthy, exercising, doing squats and tricep dips in the kitchen while your coffee is brewing. . . then, BAM! You have a moment (or two) of weakness and know that, for the love of everything that is good and sacred, you must bust down the door at DQ like the Kool-Aid Man. Ohhhh Yeaaaaaaah!!!

Somebody is gonna get hurt.

But what if there was some sort of wonderful, heavenly snack that would curb those ridonkulous cravings? One that wouldn't contribute to the size of my "badonkadonk"? One that maybe, just maybe, might even SMOOTH it. What the what??

Enter the "Bestest Smoothie Ever". Okay, this may be an exaggeration, but hear me out. . .

Yes, I realize that my smoothie slightly resembles wet cement. Get over it. It won't fossilize your internal organs and it will make your taste buds be like, "hecks to the yeah"! The reason for my delightful concoction's grayish tone is actually my secret weapon. But more about that later.

Let's get it done. You will need this:

So, I'm assuming that you own a blender of some sort. I mean, if you want to jump into this whole I'm-all-healthy-and-into-fitness thing full force, you need one. Am I right? I'm pretty sure all of the trainers on "The Biggest Loser" have one.

I actually have a Ninja blender, which I highly recommend. I bought mine shortly after an early smoothie-making attempt that resulted in mutilated fruit, almond milk-soaked walls, and a smoke-filled kitchen. Let's just say the blender now resides at the big kitchen in the sky. R.I.P

I love the Ninja for a couple of reasons. 1. It works and chops up stuff like nobody's business. 2.The fact that the blender is a "Ninja" makes me feel all hard core and stealth. Like I could totally bust through a concrete block with my hand and sneak up on Chuck Norris.

For this smoothie, I'm using frozen blueberries, but you can pretty much use any frozen fruit you want.

Look, these little berries are healthy, fun, and firm--like me! Well, maybe not the firm part. Still workin' on that one. Don't judge.

A word about the almond milk: be sure to get unsweetened. The other stuff can be loaded with sugar. If you are going to ingest all of that sweet stuff, you might as well go to DQ.

Alright, let's whip up a smoothie. Mmmmkay?

Here's what you do:

Put 1 cup of frozen fruit, 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk, 1 scoop of vanilla protein powder (two if you like your smoothie thick), and a few drops of liquid stevia (powdered works too). Now blend, blend, blend.

Okay, remember that secret weapon I told you about earlier? You know, the stuff that makes you smoothie look a little like paper mache?

Well, it's spinach!

Yep, I love raw spinach, but I get tired of eating it after a while as my spinach salads tend to "grow". Anybody with me on this one?

Anyway, I found out that I can get sooooo much more raw spinach down the hatch if I put it in my smoothies. It doesn't change the taste of my drink and it's so good for you! I normally put 1 - 2 cups of raw spinach on top of the other smoothie ingredients before I blend them all together.

Btw, you can use this smoothie "base" to create all sorts of different flavors and combos. Just change out the fruit, protein powder flavor, etc.

If you find that your smoothie is too thick, just add a little water.

These smoothies really do help to curb my intense sugar cravings. Who knows, maybe they'll help to "smoothie" out my badonkadonk too!

Bottoms up!


UPDATE: Spell check does not like the word "badonkadonk".